Let’s create a bucket list

Callum announced he wanted to go travelling for a month or two and asked if I wanted to come with him. I said yes.

I’m 26 years old and I’ve never actually done the whole travelling thing. I did a month working on a campsite in Holland, but that’s literally across the water from where I live, hardly a travelling adventure (as fun as it was).

I am still young. I don’t have any ties to mortgages or kids. My mum has agreed she’ll take in my cat. So why not? Why not go on an adventure while I am young? Go out and see all those places I want to see, like Thailand and Australia.

It’s time to start saving and hopefully at the start of next year, I will blogging to you about my travels!

This got me thinking, maybe I should create a bucket list. I’m sure I’ve written one before, like five points and then the list has been lost. But having a bucket list on my blog will allow me to list all the things I want to do and tick them off as I do them. As well as adding new ones. Feel free to create one too or use some of my ideas!

The Bucket List

  • Travel the world, which has to include: Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, California, New York, Canada, South America, The Caribbean, Maldives, Croatia, Africa
  • See Giraffes in the wild as part of a Safari in Africa
  • Go scuba diving
  • Go Skiing
  • Go skinny dipping
  • See the Northern lights
  • Write a book
  • Learn to dance
  • Jump off a high cliff into water
  • Meet a celebrity I love e.g. Katy Perry
  • Go on a cruise
  • Be able to do advanced Yoga moves
  • Go to a waterfall well within nature and swim in the water
  • Buy a house
  • Get married
  • Have kids
  • Go to Disney World
  • Go to Giraffe manor
  • Get a puppy
  • Get a goat
  • Go to hot springs in Iceland

 

I’ll continue editing this whenever I think of new ideas 😊

Forget your worries and go have some fun

I realised I hadn’t written a post in a while. The reason being I’ve been so busy enjoying myself. Recently I’ve found myself finding joy in life and doing more and more.

It all kicked off a few weeks ago, when my boyfriend and I spent a busy weekend together. On the Friday evening we went out for a meal together, after the meal, we took a walk into town and went to Kaspas, which I have to say, is amazing. It’s like a American-style diner, where all you can eat is dessert items like sundaes and waffles. I’m drooling just thinking about it.

On the Saturday morning, we took a walk into town and went to the vap shop, since Callum is now a vaper. We went to the zoo, where I spent most of the time running to the animals yelling “look at this!” And of course I was first in line for the giraffe feeding. Oh and may I add, am I glad people prefer to do the elephant, which meant soon people disappeared off, allowing me to feed the giraffes constantly.

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After the zoo, we went to the seafront and had a hot dog (which I could have eaten ten of). And then it was to theatre to watch Jimmy Carr performance, which left us both with our cheeks hurting. Oh and of course we headed home via KFC.

Anyway, the point is, I had so much fun and didn’t worry. Of course, my fears and worries still appear in my mind, but I’m focusing more on having fun.

Life is meant to be fun and you should have it! Whatever your worries are, don’t worry, just go out there and do something fun. Even if it’s taking a walk in the sunshine or going to get an ice cream. Just focus on what you’re doing. Enjoy it and soon you’ll find yourself forgetting about your worries.

I’m starting up Yoga

So I’ve just had a relaxing week off, spending most of my time watching Harry Potter and eating lots. Whilst on my holiday, I thought it would be good to start up some exercise.

I’ve always started up exercise before but soon I find myself missing the odd day, until eventually it’s a thing of the past. The problem with me is that I dive in too quickly. I take on too much and overwhelm myself.

This time I decided I need to take it slowly. Work my way up at a comfortable pace and not put myself off. As great as it would be to sprint down the road without running out of breath, I can’t expect that straight away.

I’d always tried Yoga before and been quite drawn to it. I think it very relaxing and something that’s not difficult to start. You can take your own pace at it and build yourself up slowly.

So on my week off, I started doing a 20 minute Yoga routine every morning. I soon discovered that my leg muscles were really aching when pushing forward into odd poses. Yet at the same time, I wasn’t pushing myself too hard. And each day I did it, I could push myself deeper into the poses.

Admittedly, I was busy over the bank holiday weekend, which meant I fell out of practice. Then yesterday I thought, no I really should get back into this. So after work, I did my 20 minute Yoga routine.

I was surprised to find it was easier. There’s this one move where you sit down and put my leg out straight, then cross a leg across so the knees are overlapping. You then reach forward, hold your foot and lower your head forward as close to your knees. Guess what? I could touch my head to my knees! I could feel the strain in my leg but I could do it! Which goes to show it is working.

I did an evening swimming for an hour a couple of weeks ago too, which unfortunately I missed due to being busy the last two Tuesday. But I am free and going to go back next Tuesday. I will be attempting a Yoga routine tomorrow morning before work too.

Oh and I discovered this amazing Youtube channel, ‘Boho Beautiful’ which has loads of videos, from beginners (e.g. me) to advanced, so it will help me build myself up to the higher levels. Plus, I would love to be as fit and flexible as her!

One day, I’ll be able to do this 😀

This heat wave got me like… 🌞 #onceagymnastalwaysagymnast #bohobeautiful #beachdays

A post shared by Boho Beautiful (@bohobeautifullife) on

I’m back in love

It’s funny how in a moment, things can change. Just over two months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. Well last night I spent the night with him.

A couple of days ago I woke up to a long text from him, saying how sorry he was, he made a mistake and should never have let me go.

I was still missing him, but I didn’t jump straight in. I knew I had to think about it before responding.

The thing was, we never had problems in our relationship. We were always on the same page. We always had a laugh, but over the last few months, he had become distant. He became depressed and shut down. We used to talk about things, but when I tried to snap it out of him, I got nothing.

He decided to move out and live with his brother ‘temporarily’, but would still see me and tell me he was coming back home soon. Well over a month later, he said he wanted to break up with me.

That’s when I hit rock bottom, especially with my anxiety and depression issues. I sold everything in our house and moved straight in with my Mum and brother. I was signed off work for three weeks and started medication.

I erased him from life, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? I deleted all his texts and pictures. Got rid of all the clothes he gave me or had some memory to them. Deleted all the songs we shared. You get the idea.

My mood would swing back and forth, from ‘I want to cry, I miss him so much’ to ‘I’m really angry and he can go fuck himself’.

So naturally when he texted an essay about how he missed me and wanted me back, my mood was all over the place. I felt anger that I needed to vent at him, to tell him how much he hurt me and I lost trust in him. I felt pleased and happy he wanted me back. I really had tried to convince myself he wasn’t coming back (although my sister said otherwise), because holding out hope only hurt more.

I told him I wasn’t ready to talk yet and that I was still really hurt from it all. We texted for a little about, him saying how he was sorry, he never should of done it and he was in a bad place. I told him I was hurt by it all and I wished he would have talked to me. I then added it would be better if we talked in person. I said I’d need time to think.

Come the next day, I realise that I really miss him and do want to be with him. All day I felt excited and giddy. I had planned on seeing him the following day, but as I was on my evening swim, I thought, this isn’t right, I need to tell him how I feel.

That night I send him a text, telling him I miss him. Immediately he texts back asking whether he wanted me to pick him up so we can talk. I said yes.

We spent two hours talking about everything. I vented all my hurt and frustration. He told me how sorry he was, how he shouldn’t have done it and it was only me he wanted by his side. And corny as it is, I honestly just didn’t want to stop kissing him or touching him.

I spent the night with him and we could not stop talking. My heart actually felt warm and I felt complete. My Callum was back, the one I knew and loved.

See that’s the thing, I could’ve said no, but why? Because of fear of rejection again? To protect myself from hurt? But the thing is, why deny how you feel? And it wasn’t like he cheated or he abused me. I could understand what he went through. When you’re depressed you don’t understand it and you want to push people away.

And if anything, I’ve learnt that I am stronger than I think. I did continue on, even though I was hurting so much. And this will only make us stronger. It made us realise we should be open with each other and support each other through these bad moments.

Reasons why it’s awesome to be single

I’d been in a relationship for over four years and I now find myself nearly single. With each day that passes, I’ve found myself discovering it’s actually ok being single.

What’s so great about being single?

  1. If you want to do something, you can do it. Want to buy a giant house bunny? Yes please
  2. There’s no one to worry about, but yourself
  3. Fancy a spontenous weekend abroad?
  4. Out at a party and want to stay out late? Yup, that I will
  5. You can take time to learn what makes me happy
  6. You can watch what you want on TV. No arguing over that fact that he wants to watch some macho film or trying to convince him you want to watch a Rom com
  7. What takeaway do you want to get? Whatever the hell you want!
  8. You have more time to spend with friends and family
  9. The only laundry you have to worry about doing is yours. No more thinking, oh no, he’s going to run out of boxers!
  10. You only have to worry about your own mess. Bundle of clothes on the floor? Washing up is piling up? Oh well.
  11. You can slob out as much as you like. Want to lay in bed watching Netflix, cookie crumbs all over you and farting? Go for it
  12. Farting and burping as much as you like
  13. You grow independence
  14. If you don’t want to shave, you don’t have to
  15. You can spoil yourself and not have to explain why it’s super noodles for the next month because you bought a PS4
  16. You get the whole bed to yourself
  17. Not having to worry about feeding someone else when you go food shopping
  18. No more worrying about what to get him for his birthday or planning the day
  19. Add Christmas, Valentines and Annniversaries to that. Oh and Steak and Blowjob day for those who celebrate
  20. On the subject of Christmas, there’s no need to plan how you’re going to see everyones family
  21. Not having to watch Sports, video games or anything else you don’t enjoy
  22. Listening to music you like. Katy Perry on full volume please!
  23. Discovering you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy
  24. Constantly checking in with someone to make sure everything is ok or to tell them if you popped to the shop after work
  25. Having a bath all to yourself
  26. No more drama, like arguing over the fact that he hasn’t put the garage out again
  27. You can wear what you want out. Yes that latest trend may seem stupid, but I like it!
  28. Not having to wear sexy lingerie. Where’s my Bridget Jones pants?
  29. You can meet your sexual needs when you want to and you don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else
  30. You don’t have to share food

The most important thing is, it’s ok to be single. Use this time to focus on yourself and do what makes you happy!

Have patience with yourself, you will get better

If you read my other posts, you already know that I suffer from anxiety and depression. On top of this, my partner of four years broke up with me, so I moved in with my Mum and brother.

I really hit rock bottom, so bad that I couldn’t face leaving the house. I got signed off work for three weeks and started medication. That was six weeks ago.

I have now been back at work for four weeks. I won’t lie, I’m not 100% back to being me yet, but I am getting there. Some days I feel anxious again or I find myself missing my ex. While other days I feel the old me returning, the calm and happy me I know.

But recovery takes time. I can’t expect to take a pill and bam, I’m back to normal. The same applies to a breakup, I can’t expect to be over him at the click of a finger.

So if you are going through a breakup, don’t worry if you find yourself missing him/her again. Even if he wasn’t the right for you. Even if you were feeling ok, but then find yourself missing him/her again.

If you are going through anxiety or depression, just know it’s ok to have bad days. You might have started medication or therapy and been feeling better, but now you feel like you’re back at square one.

It’s ok, because you are getting better. You may not see it now, but you are getting stronger everyday. Each day you’re a step closer to recovery. Each day your heart and mind heals. Soon enough, you will be back to normal and you will laugh and love again.

So be patient with yourself. I know you may feel like you want to be healed now, but it does take time and that’s ok. It will all be worth it in the end. I know that you will get there.