I’d been in a relationship for over four years and I now find myself nearly single. With each day that passes, I’ve found myself discovering it’s actually ok being single.
What’s so great about being single?
- If you want to do something, you can do it. Want to buy a giant house bunny? Yes please
- There’s no one to worry about, but yourself
- Fancy a spontenous weekend abroad?
- Out at a party and want to stay out late? Yup, that I will
- You can take time to learn what makes me happy
- You can watch what you want on TV. No arguing over that fact that he wants to watch some macho film or trying to convince him you want to watch a Rom com
- What takeaway do you want to get? Whatever the hell you want!
- You have more time to spend with friends and family
- The only laundry you have to worry about doing is yours. No more thinking, oh no, he’s going to run out of boxers!
- You only have to worry about your own mess. Bundle of clothes on the floor? Washing up is piling up? Oh well.
- You can slob out as much as you like. Want to lay in bed watching Netflix, cookie crumbs all over you and farting? Go for it
- Farting and burping as much as you like
- You grow independence
- If you don’t want to shave, you don’t have to
- You can spoil yourself and not have to explain why it’s super noodles for the next month because you bought a PS4
- You get the whole bed to yourself
- Not having to worry about feeding someone else when you go food shopping
- No more worrying about what to get him for his birthday or planning the day
- Add Christmas, Valentines and Annniversaries to that. Oh and Steak and Blowjob day for those who celebrate
- On the subject of Christmas, there’s no need to plan how you’re going to see everyones family
- Not having to watch Sports, video games or anything else you don’t enjoy
- Listening to music you like. Katy Perry on full volume please!
- Discovering you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy
- Constantly checking in with someone to make sure everything is ok or to tell them if you popped to the shop after work
- Having a bath all to yourself
- No more drama, like arguing over the fact that he hasn’t put the garage out again
- You can wear what you want out. Yes that latest trend may seem stupid, but I like it!
- Not having to wear sexy lingerie. Where’s my Bridget Jones pants?
- You can meet your sexual needs when you want to and you don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else
- You don’t have to share food
The most important thing is, it’s ok to be single. Use this time to focus on yourself and do what makes you happy!
If you read my other posts, you already know that I suffer from anxiety and depression. On top of this, my partner of four years broke up with me, so I moved in with my Mum and brother.
I really hit rock bottom, so bad that I couldn’t face leaving the house. I got signed off work for three weeks and started medication. That was six weeks ago.
I have now been back at work for four weeks. I won’t lie, I’m not 100% back to being me yet, but I am getting there. Some days I feel anxious again or I find myself missing my ex. While other days I feel the old me returning, the calm and happy me I know.
But recovery takes time. I can’t expect to take a pill and bam, I’m back to normal. The same applies to a breakup, I can’t expect to be over him at the click of a finger.
So if you are going through a breakup, don’t worry if you find yourself missing him/her again. Even if he wasn’t the right for you. Even if you were feeling ok, but then find yourself missing him/her again.
If you are going through anxiety or depression, just know it’s ok to have bad days. You might have started medication or therapy and been feeling better, but now you feel like you’re back at square one.
It’s ok, because you are getting better. You may not see it now, but you are getting stronger everyday. Each day you’re a step closer to recovery. Each day your heart and mind heals. Soon enough, you will be back to normal and you will laugh and love again.
So be patient with yourself. I know you may feel like you want to be healed now, but it does take time and that’s ok. It will all be worth it in the end. I know that you will get there.
Ever since I was a child, I always knew what my wedding would be like. I could see the strapless princess dress. The outdoor wedding set in a field with mountains in the distance. How I’d be so happy having the time of my life with my family and friends.
I couldn’t wait to find someone I could do that with. Someone who I could start a family with. The problem is I’ll never find it by looking for love. I should be focusing on me and not trying to find someone to help complete me.
My brother said that before he could think about finding love, he needed to focus on himself and live the life he wanted to live. He needed to be happy being himself.
Then when he found someone (and he wouldn’t go looking), it would be to complement himself. To find someone to share a life with, but not to rely on them and lose yourself in the process.
You see, when it comes down to it, you don’t need someone else to be happy. All that matters is you. What makes you happy? What do you want out of life?
All you need is you. You can still care for other people, but don’t let it change you. Because you are important and you deserve to be happy.
I went for a walk today and a thought crossed my mind, it’s ok to be single. I’d been in a relationship for over four years and being single does seem scary and lonely. But I realised being single doesn’t have to be that way.
It gives me freedom. It allows me to do whatever I want to do. I don’t have to worry about another person all the time. I can go out when I want and when I do, I don’t have to think about how that other person is.
And what better way to get over my anxiety and depression. Because now I can focus solely on me. I can use this opportunity to better myself. To become the person I am. To do the things that make me happy.
I know one day I will meet the man of my dreams. I know that I won’t be single forever. But I can only meet him when I’m the best version of me. When I have found happiness in life without needing a man for that. And I will get there.
So if you’re going through a breakup or feeling down about being single, don’t worry, which I know it’s not easy to do, I’m a constant worrier. But believe me when I say it’s ok. This opportunity will allow you to be the best version of you. To find happiness and learn that it’s ok to be single.
We’re all on the road to happiness and we’ve already been through the worst of it. Now go out there and do whatever makes you happy! 😄❤
Sometimes it may not seem like it, but you can be happy. You may be going through something right now (a breakup, loss of job or something else) and everything may look bleak and meaningless. The fact is, you are still here. You are still going strong, you haven’t given up even if you may feel like it. Trust me when I say you can be happy.
Recently I’ve been going through a tough time. My partner broke up with me. I’ve moved back in with my Mum and brother. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I don’t even know if I’m doing a job I enjoy. So yes, I understand feeling like life is hard and miserable.
I also know that I’ve been happy before. I know that I can feel happiness and joy. Even though I feel all this pain, I know that I will get through this. This will make me stronger. I will feel happy again.
Believe me, you will get there. You can be happy and you deserve it. We all suffer, but that’s what makes us stronger and help guide us towards living the happy life we deserve.
About a week ago, my (ex) boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. It is still early and it does hurt, especially as I already suffer from anxiety and depression. Amongst all this pain, there is one spiral of questions that are raised, why did I do wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough?
Then my sister said, you did nothing wrong, he’s the idiot. Perhaps it is the typical thing you say to someone who has just been dumped, but it did make me think. You see, when I get into a relationship, I give it my all. I wear my heart of my sleeve as my other Mum says. Because when I care about someone, I give them everything and try my best to always be there for them. So does that mean I shouldn’t be so caring? Does that mean it’s wrong for me to commit myself fully to a person?
If you didn’t guess already, the answer is no. I shouldn’t change who I am because I wasn’t right for someone. By changing who I am won’t make me more likely to find love, it would only mean I was being someone I am not.
Don’t let a breakup change you as a person. You are good enough and you will find someone who completely understands you and who loves you for who you are. It’s not your fault he/she didn’t appreciate those lovely qualities you have.